break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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