I can tuck mytits in my pants
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i think my cat just said my name.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
