My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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