I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
