he puts the penis in happiness.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
