Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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