I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
