OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
