They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
