I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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