Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
