She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish I only lived at night.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
