so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
