I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
