You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
