Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??