sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
