I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
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want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.