It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.