i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?