Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.