The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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