i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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