I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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