i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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