You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
