garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i will never coherently bang her
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
