Betty ford says i'm here all night
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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