I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
