I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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