the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
