She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
