I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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