before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This house was built for laser tag.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
