She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
