All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
