Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
