My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
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Do I have a choice?
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The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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