I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
