is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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