Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
