Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
