Having a random hookup so left but love u
my sisters under your porch take her home
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
