hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
