It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You dont lie about slip and slides
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
