Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Randomize
