brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Randomize
