Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize