I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
