Kiss
Puke
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
