I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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