Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
