I think I am morally bankrupt
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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