It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize