somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
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Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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