So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
