Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
