I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
