I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts