Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.