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thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
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