sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.