so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable