So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
