Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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