College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've blown a few things in my day
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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