we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
