Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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