I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
